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Africa culture/tradition education folklore lifestyle Nature Pastoral Poetry Series

Dealing with Anger and Frustration

I compiled what worked for me in dealing with anger and frustration, I hope they work for others too.

The first thing I do when I’m angry is to walk away. I hold back the urge to argue, reply or fight back even when I’m clearly right. When I’m angry I ignore the offender and will likely leave the area if the provocation become unbearable.

Sometimes cheerful company can heal. I hang out with people who take my happiness as theirs. Good friends care so much that they offer all kinds of gift, play and jokes to make me smile.

Faith is a strong factor in reversing frustrations to great mood. If you are religious, handing your pain to God may be a good anger therapy, if not the best. When provoked or frustrated I say a word of prayer and that makes me feel much better.

You must have noticed how keen I’m about food. Honestly, if you love food like I do, you may agree that good food can do wonders! If you are angry it may be that you are hungry, just saying. It’s nice to treat yourself to great delicacies. Cook for yourself, maybe try new dishes and buy yourself a glass of chilled wine or yoghurt.

Think about or visit places that you love or remind you of successful events or ventures you were part of. Also, talk to anger management specialists. For me, I visit quiet places or older people/friends.

Do you have a hobby, talent, pet or job that you enjoy? Sing, write, dance, play, swim, cycle, hike, drink, eat, do more of anything that gives you joy whenever you feel the pangs of gloom. I remember writing a lot of poems when I was heartbroken and it did save me from more stress. Just do that thing that makes you happy.

From here it will be a good night.

Categories
culture/tradition lifestyle Nature Pastoral Series

Self Reflection 4: Gratitude

Gratitude is an attitude that creates doors in walls and hearts.

Categories
culture/tradition lifestyle Nature Pastoral

Thoughts on Love

We don’t know what we miss or get when we take decisions concerning relationships. Sometimes what we seek might come packaged in disguise. Love is dynamic and may come in different shades.

If you really love someone, do not hesitate to tell them.

Have a lovely night. Our love challenge continues tomorrow.

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culture/tradition education folklore Lessons from Experiences Love and Christianity Series

Thoughts on Friendships and Personal Autonomy

I received several messages from close friends, complaining of the way their friends or partners treat them. I tried to see reason from different angles so that I can make an impartial judgment. Being good is not a guarantee that people will treat you well and returning people’s favours is not ideal too.

Well, we all know that people come in different sizes and shapes, so expecting them to treat you exactly the way you treat them will be like trying to feed grass to lions. Differences in lifestyle, personal/religious/economic background, culture, education, life experiences, and more contribute to different human behaviours. Heartbreaks and failed relationships are common because many started with the wrong mindset and direction.

It’s not about treating people the way they treat you. It’s actually recognizing that you deserve better than the way they treat you and you value yourself well enough to walk away with your dignity and self respect intact. People should stop investing in one sided or fair weather relationships and friendships. When people show you they don’t value you, simply walk away. I’ve been there severally! A broken friendship is better than a failed marriage or long term relationship!

No drama, no mind games, no guilt trips, no shaming, no abusive calls or texts, just a realization that you deserve better and removing someone who treats you in less manner. You teach people how they treat you and it’s you and only you that know your worth and value. Take your power back and stop giving your personal autonomy away to other people.

Have a great day. Our love challenge continues.

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Africa culture/tradition folklore lifestyle Love and Christianity Nature Pastoral Poetry

Muse: Life

Quiet breezes roam this evening,
I let my weary mind stroll with it,
Walking it down these streets of life,
And reflecting on life’s true meaning,
Aware of seasons, of sowing and reaping,
I wonder if life come in such seasons,
And when stars die, if they fall off from heaven
Or if there’s such thing as human reincarnation

Life is like an early morning mist,
Hot days, its woe as it may dry up the mist
Now I lay, thinking of life’s secrets,
And what may become when I finally find it

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Poetry

Noisy Weekend

Ah. It’s a hot noon here. Dry harmattan wind made it even worse as it brought hot air. I’m back from work and quietly sitted, looking out the window. I could be less bored in a natural environment but all I see here are buildings, electricity poles and people. There are little or no trees in this vicinity. The skies are so unromantic here, they are not blue. I really miss the tranquil countryside. The memories of the last holiday spent in my village still warms my merry heart.

There’s books to read but I’ve put reading on hold for work demands much of my time. Children are playing outside and their noise bother me. That’s one reason I dislike slums and cities. I can’t wait for the evening to come so I can have some quietness and cool breeze.

This week was stressful. I introduced classes, revised past work and gave out tests. Also I welcomed new students and made lesson notes for classes. Teaching math is a tasking job. But as learning and life is a cycle, I enjoy giving out my knowledge to others.

I’m going to hang out this evening with colleagues and friends that live nearby. There’s a favorite restaurant where we enjoy drinks and discuss the week’s scores and events.

I wish everyone a lovely weekend. TGIF

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Uncategorized

Thoughts on Africa: oiroegbu.com

My name is Okechukwu. I’m a Math teacher and I’m the brain behind oiroegbu.com. I’m from Isuikwuato in Nigeria. I enjoy writing. I love watching wildlife and playing Sudoku.

Initially, oiroegbu.com was a poetry blog, but was modified to accommodate other thoughts, personal experiences and places I’ve been to. Hopefully, I’ll start traveling more, to collect stories, tales and images. I believe that we can use stories, tales and poems to bring positive change to the society. We’re all connected, by stories.

Africa is a beautiful place with rich story-telling traditions. My aim is to revive stories that are lost or forgotten. Sometimes my thought and writing will swing the way of life virtues, leadership and personal experiences.

I’m open to suggestions and corrections. Please feel free to contact me.

Categories
Lessons from Experiences Love and Christianity

Thoughts on Friendship and Honesty, from an Introvert’s view

Friends are family we chose for ourselves.

Although there are many forms of friendship, some of which may vary from place to place, certain characteristics are present in many types of such bonds. Such characteristics include affection; kindness, love, virtue, sympathy, empathy, honesty, altruism, loyalty, generosity, forgiveness, mutual understanding and compassion, enjoyment of each other’s company, trust, and the ability to be oneself, express one’s feelings to others, and make mistakes without fear of judgment from the friend. Friendship is an essential aspect of relationship building skills. Friendship is a vital part of life.

Introverts find it hard to make friends. They even find it harder keeping relationships! Even so, introverts have someone they love, trust and confide in. They are choosy and careful lovers, so find it hard to trust. When they chose a friend, their loyalty is very strong.

Honesty relates specially to Friendship. Honesty is commitment, truthfulness and being real to oneself, people around and the environment. As people are different, one can’t expect everyone to be honest or friendly. Honesty and friendship is dependent on loyalty. Let’s consider the story of Jonathan and David in the Bible. Jonathan as the King’s son helped his friend David escape when his father sought to kill the Shepherd boy. We can see from this story that love and trust superceded personal or family interests.

It’s hard to find loyal friends but being real or true to oneself will bring those who deserve our genuine trust and friendship.

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Random Thought: Countryside Vs Cities

It’s Saturday evening in West Africa. I’m sitting outside peeling oranges. Apart from the dreamy breeze, this mouthful of oranges is the only comfort I’ve for being bored.

COUNTRYSIDE

My hometown is beautiful. There are breath taking hills masked in green matter. There are streams, ponds, rivulets and waterfalls, rocks and ancient caves. There are bamboo forests and great valleys and settlements surrounded by hills. Wild life is exotic, so are plants too. This place gives me unquantifiable joy and inspiration each time I visit. Here is to celebrate Isuikwuato, my home!

I belong to you, Ovim and your hills that stand before the sunrise,

With shades of green and gold, old as the ages you paint the land

I belong to the Native drums that play beyond the hills

Calling on great men and mighty warriors to dance

I belong to the green forest and all life that call it home;

The swift flowing streams, rushing upon fine pebbles

And the ponds that hide under the cool shed of trees and bushes

I belong… To the countryside, pure and unharmed by man’s greed

CITIES

I do not wish to discuss much about cities. Everybody knows that it’s a place full of people. Therefore noise, water and air pollution is common.

I think cities can be desirable to Nature lovers if every household own at least two trees. What if forests are embedded in city plans? BTW reforestation is a key ally in our fight against global warming and climate change.

That’s it for the day. Good night.

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Thoughts on Loneliness 3

Today I was in school (where I work) and really enjoyed the time I spent with my favorite students and friends. I had a lot of hugs especially from Helen, a primary school kid who took fancy of me. I teach the secondary section but my friends mostly are those little kids at the kindergaten and primary who run about and play every possible play they could around me. I enjoyed those smiling faces. Most times, during break time, I visit the primary section to see my friends. What a welcome I always get! It warms my heart to see such love, undiluted! I will love to feel that way again and again.Why did I start this post with that little story? Because I wanted to draw attention to the fact that even an introvert needs some air. You needn’t stay away from people (include kids and pets) even when your senses are beating drums to. When I open up to nice people, I feel better and I could get back to my thoughts feeling very great!Man is a social animal. Yes! So don’t keep yourself back to yourself. Sometimes reach out and when people reach out to you don’t always hold back. Bless people with your time, attention, love, smiles and hugs. 😊😊😊

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Thoughts on Loneliness 2

Introverts do see themselves as threatened species. What I mean is that they feel overwhelmed in the crowd and most times misbehave in such environment. I, for instance can relate to this. I feel so consumed and inadequate when I’m in a place full of people. I won’t say this has to do with less self confidence but seeing a lot of people who share little or nothing with me turns me off.

I try to belong when I find myself in such environment. Act as a Roman when you are in Rome, right? At the end, I come back to myself and count my gains and losses of moments ‘wasted’ sitting with people. Understanding who yourself wants to spend time with is very important. Most times, you really need to spend more time with yourself. This is not being anti social. I believe we are not meant to force ourselves on people or to belong to a group. But, a little advice goes thus, try to belong sometimes not to displease yourself but to spend time with people who might be in dire need of your time and attention. You can always have yourself afterwards.

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Uncategorized

Thoughts on Loneliness

Being lonely is by no means a wrong or painful venture. It doesn’t suggest that someone is unwanted in the society or is running the isolationist policy. Infact, being lonely most times creates the atmosphere for self reflection, for self discovery and for quiet times. Some times we hear introverts say a lot about loving to be alone and we wonder what this might have in connection to the truth behind self-reflection and loneliness. I may not call myself a whole introvert, but I love being alone. Infact in my loneliness, I think out loud. I take in my environment and let my environment do same. It is not the same as wishing people away as most introverts do. I feel more at ease when I am alone. I converse with my mind and as a poet I create poetic structures in my mind. In some parts of West Africa especially in secondary schools, those who prefer to stay alone are normally misunderstood. Some people go as far as tagging them ogbanje, witches or possessed persons. As I grew up I came to see the link between self reflection and hanging out by yourself. If you need more inspiration, I suggest hanging out by yourself on a beach, safari, bar, fields and even anywhere that allows you self reflect and spend time with yourself near your home.