I wish I had started cooking my own meals sooner. I used to eat out so often that the restaurants probably thought I was furniture. Then I began cooking at home and realized I could make the same meals for less money—and I didn’t even have to dress up to go to the kitchen: less salt, less oil, more or less chili. Anyway, I like to season.

I’ve started cooking to save money, and honestly? My wallet is happier, the kitchen smells amazing, and I’ve realized I’m a pretty good chef. The only problem is the dishes. Running a full dishwasher for just one pan and a single fork feels like a cry for help. I can practically hear it rolling its eyes at me. Apparently, every great chef has a villain.