Don’t let the world dim your lights.
I was just a teenager when I learned that the kind of friends and acquaintance one keeps could either grow or retard him. It took me many years to accept that I can’t support anyone who doesn’t want my sincere help and that life is like a bus ride, where many people will drop at one point or another, along the path. Sometimes ones best effort to support others turn to mockery. I recall giving my ‘supposed friends’ more than they deserve and it became a right that when I’m unable to perform another time, results in problems.
When you run in circles, you need to stop and think.
I noticed that I have been moving in circles ever since I continued being friends with some people. I neither moved forward nor stayed stable, but went from bad to worse in my pursuits. I lost job opportunities and chances to develop myself because I gave too much time to them instead of myself. I hung out with people who don’t share my passion. I wasn’t growing spiritually, and my financial life was in shambles. It is said that birds of a feather flock together. Let me add mine, fishes of the same scale swim together. Indeed, if one is a bird but follow a school of fish, such a person will learn to swim even when life hasn’t ordained him to do so. And that’s a default.
When I started giving myself more time, my inherent winning and positive attitude began to shine again. I started flying again, and good opportunities began coming my way.
I understand the human need to keep friends, to enjoy the love and attention of other people, but even supposed friends can be a dead weight to personal life. Don’t get me wrong: there are beautiful friendships that bloom like the sunflower on summertime. (I’ll cite some examples of good relationships that have helped me grow in another blog post.)
Since I started being selective of people I hang out with, I began to plan and articulate my thoughts and activities. I realise that all these while I lived in my shadows, trying to please or help people who don’t care or deserve it. One strength of mine is helping people in becoming their best selves. Consequently, I sacrifice my time and resources to assist, support and encourage anyone who is a friend. I believe that that is what selfless friendship is all about. Unfortunately, most people I trust and care for do not add value to me. Hence I had to reconsider my relationship with them. I’m not wrong to trim down my fences and mend the holes on my walls. And I won’t change myself for anyone. I know that people who deserve my love, care and attention are out there and one day I’ll be thrilled to give my all.
I conclude with what other people say about letting go of unfruitful friendships: ‘we create problems for ourselves when we make friends with people we should have just said hi to and moved on.’ Another person settled that it’s better to be alone than to be with people who bring you down with their mentality and lifestyle choice.
Now if you would repeat after me, “it’s in this hands-my hands to become whatever I choose to be.” Be aware that some people will tell otherwise because they may not dream like you, and so will try to make you see why you can’t achieve your goals. Please take note of this: Life is a personal race, and we have to choose those to ride or fly with. Don’t let anyone dim your beautiful light.
I’m reaping the benefits that come from keeping good company. It’s a good night from here.