Don’t let the world dim your lights.

I was just a teenager when I realized that the kind of friends and acquaintances you keep can either help you grow or hold you back. It took me many years to accept that I can’t support anyone who doesn’t want my genuine help, and that life is like a bus ride where many people will get off at some point along the way. Sometimes, the best effort I make to support others ends up being a mockery or an act of entitlement. I remember giving my ‘supposed friends’ more than they deserve, and when I can’t do that again, it causes problems.

When you run in circles, you need to stop and think.

I noticed that I have been going in circles ever since I continued being friends with certain people. I neither moved forward nor stayed stable, but went from bad to worse in my pursuits. I lost job opportunities and development chances because I gave too much time to them instead of myself. I hung out with people who don’t share my passion. I wasn’t growing spiritually, and my finances were in shambles. It is said that birds of a feather flock together. Let me add mine: fish of the same scale swim together. Indeed, if someone is a bird but follows a school of fish, that person will learn to swim even when life hasn’t meant for him to do so. And that’s a default.

When I started giving myself more time, my natural winning and positive attitude began to shine again. I started flying again, and good opportunities began to come my way.

I understand the human need to keep friends, to enjoy the love and attention of others, but even supposed friends can be a dead weight on personal life. Don’t get me wrong: there are beautiful friendships that bloom like sunflowers in summer. (I’ll cite some examples of good relationships that have helped me grow in another blog post.)

Since I started being selective about who I spend time with, I have begun to plan and express my thoughts and activities more clearly. I realize that all this time I lived in my shadows, trying to please or help people who don’t care or deserve it. One of my strengths is helping others become their best selves. As a result, I sacrifice my time and resources to support, assist, and encourage friends. I believe that is what selfless friendship is all about. Unfortunately, most of the people I trust and care about do not add value to me or reciprocate, at least. So, I had to rethink my relationships with them and categorize people based on their true place in my life. I focus on depth, not superficiality. There’s nothing wrong with trimming my fences and fixing the holes in my walls. And I won’t change myself for anyone. I know that people who deserve my love, care, and attention are out there, and someday I will be ready to give my all.

I conclude with what others say about letting go of unproductive friendships: ‘We create problems for ourselves when we make friends with people we should have just said hi to and moved on.’ Another person emphasized that it’s better to be alone than to be with people who bring you down with their mentality and lifestyle choices or who make you feel you’re not enough.

Now, if you would repeat after me, “it’s in these hands, my hands, to become whatever I choose to be.” Be aware that some people will tell you otherwise because they may not dream like you, and so they will try to make you see why you can’t achieve your goals. Please take note of this: Life is a personal race, and we have to choose those to ride or fly with. Don’t let anyone dim your beautiful light.

I’m reaping the benefits of keeping good company. It’s a good night from here.